In life, there are good years and bad years. Then there are years like 2010, when the countdown to New Year’s feels like a parole hearing. 2011 is looking up, with a new batch of conservatives on Capitol Hill, a presidential contest that will soon get underway in earnest, and news that the Obama Administration is now taking an official stand against torture (I refer, of course, to Robert Gibbs’ departure as White House Press Secretary). But before we leave 2010 to our generation’s scribes (the editors at Wikipedia), let’s look back at what we learned this year:
- Teleprompters do not have a humility setting.
- Joe Biden’s Ritalin prescription has not been refilled since the late eighties.
- When liberals talk about a “living, breathing constitution,” what they really mean is a “dying, asphyxiating constitution.”
- We’re going to have to repeal the health care law to find out what’s in it.
- In modern America, the government has the right to force you to buy health insurance, but not to question you about whether you’re in the country legally.
- Because of its small carbon footprint, unemployment is now considered a “green job.”
- Up until recently, many White House staffers believed that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” referred to the Obama Administration’s economic policies.
- God has a sense of humor. We know this because New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg – a man who has spent his entire political career crusading against the evils of salt – was done in by snow.
- The dual examples of Hillary Clinton and Kim Jong-il have definitively proved that anyone wearing an ill-fitting pantsuit is incapable of effective international diplomacy.
- Two years ago, Eric Holder called the American people “cowards.” Yet today he can’t stand up to an Australian waif with a French-sounding name who’s undermining American national security from an Internet café.
- The next candidate to run against Harry Reid ought to carry a crucifix, garlic and a wooden stake.
- Nancy Pelosi believes that unemployment benefits are one of the most effective forms of economic stimulus available. We can only presume that she will next propose replacing conventional agricultural subsidies with Soviet bread lines.
- It’s George W. Bush’s fault.
- The stimulus was too small. After all, China still has some money left.
- The American electorate has become a death panel.