“When Barack Obama was campaigning — not that he’s ever stopped — back in 2008, he made a number of promises. As we all know, like a cad on the make, he was only trying to get us in the sack. Once he had his way with us, he barely remembered our name, let alone his various vows.” –columnist Burt Prelutsky

“President Obama has repeatedly stated that his stimulus package has ‘saved or created’ hundreds of thousands of jobs. And hundreds of thousands of jobs have been created. In Unicornland.” –columnist Ben Shapiro

“It won’t be long before the president’s ego is so inflated that it will require a ZIP code of its own.” –columnist Jeff Jacoby

“Chrysler issued a statement Monday vowing they’ll double the sale of Chryslers in the next five years. It’s a reachable goal. At the rate their car sales are falling it won’t be long before Chrysler can double their sales by selling another one.” –comedian Argus Hamilton

“While in China, President Obama gave a speech. He said that ‘being open to criticism makes democracy stronger and makes me a better leader because it forces me to hear opinions I don’t want to hear.’ Then he went back to trashing Fox News.” –comedian Jay Leno


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