And Now for the Feature Presentation, CARS

We would say step right up and slip behind the wheel of a brand new car courtesy of $1 billion in taxpayer money the federal government allocated to subsidize the retail auto industry, but Washington’s Car Allowance Rebate System, or CARS (a name that’s too clever by half), is out of money after just one week. More commonly known as “Cash for clunkers,” the offer was set to run through Nov. 1.

The plan aimed to lure buyers back to the showroom floors while repopulating the roadways with more fuel-efficient vehicles by giving qualifying dealers up to a $4,500 rebate for each trade-in. Apparently, it worked, even with all the stipulations that applied. First, the trade-in car or light truck must be a gas-guzzler, defined as getting 18 miles or less per gallon; second, the vehicle must be less than 25 years old; third, the new (not pre-owned) set of wheels must get at least 22 miles per gallon and have a manufacturer’s suggested retail price not over $45,000; and fourth, the dealer must be registered with the program. Oh, and no recycling allowed. CARS mandates that traded-in vehicles be “crushed or shredded.” Congress and the White House are working to keep the program running — after all, we can’t have a government program with an actual terminus.

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